Constantemente Inconstante

I’m not going to say that this is love. But I won’t say it’s not. I think about you now and then. And also before. It’s being a while since I can remember your kiss impressed me. But not only this. The sound of your voice - I sincerely can't tell since when - I just know that now it gives me chills when I hear it. The most slight touch of your finger in my skin, convince me right way that I can stay more. Even when I’m supposed to do something else. The parties that I love has never been so negotiable like when you're around. The only certainty I have is that we must enjoy each other when we are around in the same city. And when we are not, more and more I want to share with you the beautiful things my eyes capture, the good vibes my heart breath, the love I feel in simple things in life, the extraordinary things that I’m living. Oh damn. I wish you were here. At least for one second for you to see how my smile is coming easy, and for me to see your smile come so easy too. I m...

sometimes I need to make an effort to come back to reality, I mean, what is reality? I feels much more like home when I'm inside my head with my own dreams and the ones that could possible understand what I want to say whithout saying anything. Even the ones that are not here anymore, but their energy will never be gone. Sometimes I catch myself thinking how it would be a conversation between Kurt and I, or maybe we do have conversations in a more ethereal way. well, if you believe in energy, I bet it can be more real than the "reality" we're actually living. routine, work, ambissions, abuses, so many stupid humans, so many unecessary hate. Kurt was right to avoid humans sometimes. Most of them just fake to socialize, and It doesn't make them any better and even less that will be the reason to make them feel fullfilled later. It all just shallow. hollow. As Kurt would say... too slick for me. I would rather a simple life, but real and autenthic them lots of thing...

Sometimes things do happen for a reason. But it can be a stupid reason. It was surprising how a day could feel like ages when I was at home with you in the room across the hall. How many times the loud music tried to filled the void of our missing words left when we thought “there is nothing less to say”. We kept living, and leaving home as much as we could. We had to be busy, occupy our days and life with something else, with someone else, with more and more stuff. Stupid stuff.

Acho que vou... Já vou tarde? Se fico ou se vou Qual mais arde? Podia ser diferente Mas a mente confunde a gente Mas juro! Sou inocente! No fim, a gente se entende... Eu acho que você entende Talvez num saiba bem o que faz Mas percebe que mesmo que tente Não tem como voltar atrás Não deu Porque não dá Não dou Era tudo combinado Estávamos alinhados Mas algo deu errado Silêncio e nós abraçados O que fazer no meio de tanta confusão? Onde o sim também pode ser não? Na calada Me calo E me vou

I don't want you to don't go We are young, the world is our home I don't want to show you off shallow people make me want to scoff I don't want to count perks for a moment, It's not a competition, time is the only opponent I don't want you to tell me, or to give me something back I just want to feel free and share with you this track nothing more to think it's about natural sync All I want is you to be So I can care you inside me

I would wait for this moment all my life But it’s not quite right To grab me suddenly that I can 't escape this jab Hitting me like a stab Talking bullshit while holding my waist There is no time to waste If possible the impossible come close and let me taste I'm craving for cheating this gamble forget all the shit and embrace  I said we relate, it shouldn't be so straight it’s so fun to relate

I don't want you to stay. I want you to go. I want you to keep going, keep doing what you do, keep being who you are or maybe go even further... Know more about you, who you really are - free of all influences and pressures. What do you truly like? What else do you want to try? Go for it. I want you to go for it. When we truly like someone, we want them to be happy, not to control them. We're not talking about possess something. It's being able to smile with the heart to see their happiness, to see them living irreplaceable experiences and emotions. That's life and I t's making them stronger, fuller, entire . How can someone stay if they're not entire?  We're doing the same, discovering, living, leaving. Let them go. Peacefully. Not being afraid of lose them, once people are not things to have, but humans with feelings, curiosities, doubts, ideas and much more to socialize, interact… to get along with. And maybe, share yourself with the ones that are worth...

The original text was written by Ruth Manus in Portuguese (click here to check it out: goo.gl/sweCuY ) and I decided to do an English version, so I could share it with my wandering friends that is passing or have passed through the same moment. Fly: eternal envy and frustration that man carries in his chest every time he sees a bird in the sky. We learn to do a million things, but flying... Flying life does not let us do. Perhaps by knowing that we humans learn to belong too much to places and people. And in this case, being able to fly would cause crisis hard to bear, among the temptation to go and need to stay. Very well. Then the man kept going and created the wheel. The Kombi. The scooter. The Harley. The Boeing 737. And we found that even without wings could fly. But the big trouble comes when we realized he could go with no date to return. And so they began to emerge the brave ones who left their cities of hunger and misery to try to feed the family in the capital...

Are you wealthy? What brands do you wear? Do you have the newest phone on the market? In today’s society people care about status, appearance and possessions. We clothe ourselves, pamper ourselves, we rule ourselves. Thus, we can’t recognize ourselves anymore. We lose our individuality. We seek authentic spirits. Sometimes everything seems so fake to me. We have to follow a ‘script of life’ that others wrote – even if we don’t agree with it. We are raised in a world where pink is girly and blue is manly. A world that tells us to get a recognized job and earn as much money as possible. The same world that understands that intelligence or capacity is shown on a paper with right and wrong answers. It is not easy when everyone around you thinks this way, maybe even your parents and friends. Despite that, I was sure that to me this is not the way things should be. I am not the things I buy. I am not how much money I have. I am not what brands say. Not even what people think they know a...

I love them so. Sometimes nothing could be better than those words, coming from a complete stranger. Strangers can be so warm. Things they say to you can be the most meaningful ones and make more sense than many other from known people you have ever listened. Sometimes, nothing can calm you down, unless a stranger's hug. Oh, that’s magical. You don’t have to say a thing, you don’t need to explain yourself, you don’t need excuses or forgiveness, you don't need to beg for a hug. Human compassion. They can feel your real feelings, just because there is no reason to disagree. Strangers. I’m never alone with them. I'm in this world, and everywhere, every tiny bit of it, they will be with me. I’m not alone at all. When nobody can understand you anymore, calm down, strangers will always be there. They listen, they see you, they look closely to your wet or dry eyes, and then, they give you all you need. You don’t need to give anything back, you don’t need to do anything to get some...

Do you want to hear it again? Do you really want all this to stay the same? Do you want to wait till you can hardly hear what you’re saying? Because your throat is so tight that you can't talk without weeping.  Do you really want this? If you expect something different to happen, you must start doing something different. Change something in yourself and all things will change for you. 

Suffocated. That is how I’m gonna die. All air intakes are closing. The trachea gradually lost its respiratory function. Light would never be seen again. The lack of air makes you, even with eyes wide open, unable to see anything but colorful round shapes on a black background. Pupils are not capturing any light, nostrils are no longing sucking air. When imagination can't even create mental pictures, it means reasoning is compromised. Shortness of breath is not letting me see a single inch forward. I’m not sick, but unintentionally erased off my mind. There's no more air in my vein.   Just air in vain.

Maybe it's like flying. I never flew before - or something like that, but I know, somehow I know it, I feel it.  There's no other sensation to compare with it. It's like flying...  I don't have knowledge on air resistance, I don't have the slightest ideia of what would happen in my stomach in a freefall, but I'm pretty sure that what I'm feeling is something like that. It must be. It has to be. It is. I'm flying.

To a child, happiness is the satisfaction of immediate pleasure craving.

Our times are completely crazy. I wake up, and he just go to the bed. I'm doing lots of thing now... and he probably is immersed in the most sweet dream. He spent the day working hard and all the night trying to find your sleepy, while I'm searching for him in our landscape. We could sleep until later sometimes or don't sleep in other times, but we always find a way to cross this time lines, inspired in the incredible way that life crossed our paths.

I always wonder how thing would be if you could be here with me, and how I would be feeling, what I would do if I could touch you, if I could look into your eyes, deep inside of them... I never forget the way you look at me, I could sail in the sea of your eyes.